Abusive Teen Relationships & Teen Dating Violence

October is National Domestic Violence Prevention Month.  This article has been excerpted from www.troubledteen101.com/articles47.html.

Abuse in teenage relationships, also called teen dating violence, is becoming more common, and more accepted among teens, according to a recent survey by the National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence (NCDSV).

The Center for Disease Control (CDC) reports that nearly one in ten teens in grades 7 to 12, male and female, has been physically abused by a boy or girlfriend. Abused teens are more likely to drink heavily, use drugs, engage in risky sexual behavior, develop eating disorders, and attempt suicide.

Abuse or dating violence can be physical, verbal, or sexual, and is often used to control the other person. Some warning signs to talk to your teen about to see if they are in an abusive teen relationship or a victim of  teen dating violence include:

• Jealous or controlling behavior, including over friends, appearance, and eating habits
  
• Sexual pressure
• Pressure to use drugs or alcohol 
• Name-calling or swearing 
• A partner losing his or her temper, blaming the other for his or her behavior 
• A partner insulting or embarrassing the other in front of others 
• Any form of physical violence 
• A partner threatening to hurt others or him or herself

Abuse will continue over time, and usually becomes more serious, leading to death in 1,300 cases each year, according to the CDC. Abusive teen relationships and teen dating violence have long lasting mental and emotional effects on its victims and the people who care about them. Unfortunately, those who are abused as teenagers are more likely to be in abusive relationships as adults. Because of the seriousness of this problem, it is important to watch for the warning signs of an abusive teen relationship or teen dating violence, including:

• Unexplained injuries 
• Changes in appearance 
• Withdrawal from friends and family 
• Giving up activities that were once enjoyed 
• Changes in behavior or mood - acting depressed, anxious, or secretive, or acting out 
• Alcohol or drug use 
• Apologizing for or justifying a partner's behavior - especially his or her temper 
• Acting afraid of a partner, or worrying about making him or her angry 
• One partner is possessive and makes all the decisions 
• One partner insults, criticizes or embarrasses the other

If you are in an abusive teen relationship or a victim of teen dating violence, talk to a trusted adult to get help. The Teen Action Campaign suggests that if your child or friend is in an abusive teen relationship, talk to them. Be supportive and make it clear that it is not their fault they are being abused. Do not judge them or push them to do anything they are not comfortable with, and be patient. Encourage your teen to stay out of contact with the abuser. If you know the abuser, do not attack him or her as a person, but it make it clear that his or her behavior is not acceptable and encourage him or her to talk to a counselor and develop healthy behaviors. Do not hesitant to turn to good sources for help, including trusted school counselors, religious leaders, doctors, community support groups, the police, or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. 

Wishing You Well Counseling Center provides therapeutic services to adolescents and adults who are victims of domestic and dating violence.  Give us a call today at 434-455-5033.

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